10 mistakes most organizations make in their annual report introductions

It’s that time of year again: time for you and your team to agonize over how you’ll open what’s arguably the most important document you’ll create this fiscal year.

You already know your audience and what they need to accomplish. Now you simply must compete for their attention.

(If only it were that simple...)

And let's not forget that there's much at stake. Whether you create a simple pdf or a glossy bound mailer, your words (and images) can convey major progress to existing supporters and help you woo potential donors and volunteers.

Will your document win their focused attention? Or will it be skimmed over and forgotten fast?

One thing's for sure: If the very beginning doesn’t captivate your readers, they’ll never make it through the rest. Start off strong with your introduction and readers may just stick with you from cover to cover.

Here’s how:

1. Ditch the executive fluff.

   
   

   Example: “It was a year of uncertainty…”

You want to put the leader of the org front-and-center? Fine. But know this: Generic statements make for fairly worthless openers, or “ledes” in journalism lingo. There’s a way to test for this, of course. First, read your intro aloud. If you can picture it applying to any other organization (even a peer organization), it’s best to scrap it.

Instead, hook readers right from the start with specific details that chronicle an emotional win or a persistent challenge. Grip the reader right away. That's the kind of letter that compels people to act.

Note: You can do this more effectively by using high arousal emotions, such as awe, excitement, amusement or even anger, according to research by Wharton professor and bestselling author Dr. Jonah Berger.

2. Don’t barrage readers with a wall of data.

   
   

   Example: Five thick paragraphs chock full of percentages and statistics.

   
   

Nobel Prize winner and legendary behavioral economist Daniel Kahneman once said that “No one ever made a decision because of a number. They need a story.”

You may have plenty of stats to share, and those are indeed helpful to have. But save them for later sections of your annual report. Instead, use your intro for a compelling narrative that shares why this year in particular matters, and how the reader can play a strong supporting role. "Eli was a Sudanese refugee who had tried for months to land a wage that would sustain his family of five. Then he met our team..."

And the most important part: Keep paragraphs short and digestible. This isn't a Ph.D. thesis, after all. Cluster more than 4-5 lines in a row and you'll start losing readers.

3. Omit jargon or "inside baseball" acronyms.

   
   

   Example: “Our cross-sector collaborative model serves constituents through these ESG KPIs…”

   
   

   Unless your reader is a seasoned expert in your specific field, our team recommends keeping language clear, engaging and inclusive upfront. By all means, feel free to get carried away with commonly understood terms in the financial section. But we would tell you what we tell all our clients: Let your audience skate through the intro and along the way, make them FEEL something.

   
   

   This includes the use of hollow rhetoric such as catalyze, utilize, and revolutionize. Transform or disrupt are permitted on rare and necessary occasions. For fun, check out TechSoup's Nonprofit Annual Report Jargon Generator...and then write the opposite of that.

   
   

   We promise you'll have plenty of room to get into the ROI of your organization's endowment investments, or how they can participate in a DAF (or "donor advised fund," for the uninitiated).

   
   

4. Steer clear of inflated industry claims.

   
   

   Example: “We’re innovators in a rapidly evolving ecosystem…”

   
   

   Word salad, anyone? Nothing says "skip this part" like a robotic AI-generated opening.

   Deep down, you already know that no audience of yours will be impressed by such hollow rhetoric. So hit delete and ditch the generalizations for concrete, evidence-based examples (e.g., how you innovated) that build a stronger emotional connection and help readers to further visualize your progress.

   
   

5. Don't skip the "why" behind the work.

   
   

   Example: Launching straight into a dry recap of the past year's activities.

   
   

   Your annual report's intro may feel like the wrong place to take a lofty tone. But strategy belongs here, too! This section is prime real estate where you can (and should) connect the dots for those not immersed in the day-to-day tasks of your team.

   
   

   Take care to add the rationale behind any high-level decisions you mention, and to underscore the powerful mission that's driving all your efforts and outcomes.

   
   

6. Don’t pretend setbacks didn’t happen.

   
   

   Example: Glossing over missed targets, lost opportunities or (yes) even PR blunders.

   
   

   Stuff goes awry all the time. A sponsorship falls apart, a natural disaster waylays an event, a fundraising goal isn't met, a partnership announcement has a...very unfortunate typo.

   
   

   Don't leave the reader wondering if you'll acknowledge it. Directly and compassionately address any hurdles you encountered this past year and you'll not only build trust; you'll set up recovery strategies for your team to lean on the next time something unforeseen hits.

   
   

7. Delete any promises you can't keep.

   
   

   Example: “We're confident that next year will be our biggest yet!”

   
   

   Optimism is generally a good thing. You don't want to kick things off with doom and gloom. But you do want to gain and retain others' trust, and to achieve that, you must align any forecasts about funding, momentum or progress with hard data to back up your claims. Otherwise what you say could come back to bite you.

   
   

8. Stop recycling tired clichés.

   
   

   Example: “In these challenging times…” or “We’re deeply committed...”

   
   

   Hmm, was this a copy-and-paste job from 2024? Or perhaps it's from Claude or ChatGPT? Overused phrases like the above signal one thing: an author's laziness.

   
   

   But that's not you! Instead, you'll seek out fresh, authentic language that better reflects your organization's brand and its unique promise to the communities you serve.

   
   

9. Don’t write without visuals.

   
   

   Example: Three dense paragraphs of 12-point Avenir font with no subheads or photos.

   
   

   Bold headlines, a stunning hero image (read: not a stock photo), a compelling pull-out quote, a well-placed graphic...all of these could be the visually arresting elements that set your annual report's intro apart.

   
   

   Creating them just takes a bit of consideration and an eye for design. Pinpoint which words can be turned into art, and what imagery could accompany your message.

   
   

10. Don’t erase the human element

    
    

    Example: Focusing solely on financials without mentioning donors, teams or volunteers.

    
    

    Humanize the intro by highlighting the people who are driving your success. They're giving their time, talents or funds to make an impact. Thanking them here sets you up for a document that speaks directly to its recipients.

Your annual report can grip readers within seconds. Give the intro everything you've got: Write with conviction, passion and an eye toward what's in it for them. You may be surprised to see just how this year's version outperforms those of the past.